A Letter to the Forgotten Heroes

Dear forgotten heroes of Middle Earth:

It’s not you, it’s me. I say that without a hint of irony. When I first began playing LOTR:LCG in December of 2012, it was a more simple time. I had one child. Now I have four. I used to work four miles from my home. Now I regularly travel for work. In the past 3.5 years, these life changes have led to some interruptions in my gaming, and thus some of you have sat, sleeved and yet never utilized. I want to take some space here to apologize to each of you personally:

Elladan and Elrohir: I have twins myself now, and I know I should address you individually because you *are* individuals. But let’s face it; each of you is useless when used alone. I want to apologize for only building around you once. You deserve better. But that one time, when I had to jam every resource-generating card in the game into two decks to try to make you work, I was sorely disappointed in the outcome. Now that we have three more cycles’ worth of cards to work with, I should really try again.

Fatty Bolger: I tried you in one deck with Spirit Frodo and Dunhere. It was a travesty. I apologize, though I will also say this: I will never build around you again. I’m sorry, but you’re just terrible.

Spirit Pippin: See Fatty Bolger entry above.

Mirlonde: I’ve used you in two decks but haven’t looked back since. I don’t carry within my heart the burning hatred that some people do, but your ability is rather boring, and I like flashier heroes. And you don’t seem to help out Silvan decks at all. My apologies for not giving you another try, but I probably won’t change my mind, as I can’t think of a more boring ability than yours.

Brand, Son of Bain: I can safely say I have never built a deck with you in it. Perhaps once the Siege of Minas Tirith is released, because I like the idea of the grandson of Bard the Bowman traveling to Gondor to kill orcs from the walls of Minas Tirith, but not until then. I will say this, though: I have admired you from afar when playing with newbs who only have the Shadows of Mirkwood cycle. You’re cool, but other heroes are more interesting to me at the moment. Also, it looks like you smell something stanky in your picture.

Rossiel: You’re beautiful and green and surrounded by weird magic, and your ability is awesome, but I don’t see a lot of use for you in solo or two-player formats, which I play the most frequently. You’re like an exotic foreign exchange student in one of my college classes; you’re amazing, but I’m way too scared to talk to you for fear it won’t work out.

Well, that’s it for now, forgotten heroes of Middle Earth! Consider this a breakup letter of sorts. Again, it’s not you, it’s me. Maybe if cirumstances change we’ll get back together, but for now…let’s just be friends, okay? (And by that, I mean we won’t be spending much, if any time together. Read between the lines, yo.)

Regretfully,
JR

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